One week down, one week to go. Thankfully Andy and I live pretty busy/crazy lives so time really does seem to fly by. We've been praying a lot in the last week (and a long time before that) about our little miracle (s). Just praying that God will do His work in our lives and bring us a miracle. We've been praying, our friends and family have been praying, churches we don't even belong to have been praying. We are truly part of an amazing group of people.
All that to say, that we've been praying for our miracle (a baby, in case you didn't know) and that's it. But you know how God is kind of amazing and He works all things out for the good of those who love Him? Even the things you don't think about? We've been prepared for IVF to cost about $12,000. Since this cycle didn't work, we figured OK, there's $3,000 wasted, so what was $12,000 turned into $15,000. Bummer. I got a random call from my doctor's office and one of the nurse practitioners told me she was trending the drug response for this cycle. Here's the crazy part - 90% of the cycle was canceled due to lack of response. What a relief to find out it wasn't me!!! The drugs are to blame. So if there were 15 couples, 13 of them were canceled for this cycle. She said some were canceled as early as their second day on the drug. Others (like me) who had a little response stayed on the drugs the full 10 days, so we were out a lot more money. Sooooo, she filed a claim with the pharmaceutical company and they've told us they will refund us the money or give us free drugs! Isn't that exciting?!? And since I was on the drugs the full time, it's not just one drug we're out, it's all three, plus sonograms and blood draws. I think we may get reimbursed for it all! This is something we never dreamed would happen, but God worked it all out. Now we're telling everyone to doubly pray for a miracle, because if I'm pregnant, it was like free infertility month. And that NEVER happens :).
I was reading out of Jeremiah this morning and that's where the amazing verse "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart" Jeremiah 1:5a comes from. But as I read about Jeremiah's life, as hopeful and amazing as that verse sounds, he had it rough. The rest of verse 5 goes on to say that "I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." I don't know if you know a lot about prophets in the Bible, but it wasn't a desirable calling. They were generally killed in vicious ways for speaking God's word against powerful people. So Jeremiah gets this amazing calling from God, that he is chosen. God designed him specifically for this task. But it's a not a task Jeremiah would've asked for I'm guessing. Because God goes on to say that He's appointing Jeremiah to uproot and tear down nations, to destroy and overthrow. I wouldn't want to be sent into other countries to tell their leaders, "ummm...yeah God doesn't like you and he's going to destroy your city and most likely kill you. Have a great day." But that was what Jeremiah was called to do and he was obedient.
I may not always like this journey I'm on, but I believe with everything that it is exactly what God called me to do. Long before I was ever thought of. This is my testimony...for the rest of my life, this is my testimony. This is my struggle, we all have them and they are all different. But in the end, it's not about the struggle, it's about how we respond to it. And I pray that I can be as obedient as Jeremiah when God asks us to walk this journey everyday. My friend said in women's group last week - does God trust you enough to tell His story through your trials? He must, which is hard to wrap my head around. But I think that's why He called me to start this blog and I think that's part of the reason I'm on this journey in the first place. To share God. What better calling is there than that? I don't always get it right, and God's definitely still working on me. But I keep plugging away because it's what He's asked of me, and if there's anything you want to do, it's what God asks. I want to try to not mess that up.
The doctor's office has already put in my med order for next month's cycle. I'm sure that's standard procedure, but I know they think there's no way this is possible. But they don't know my God. He's master of the impossible. And we'll keep believing that.
Keep praying for us. We've got another week of waiting and we are so hopeful and filled with peace about the situation. Thank you all for your prayers, it's the best thing we could ask anyone to do.
Until next time...
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