Day 2

In my total lack of blog knowledge I was unsure of how one got the news out about a new blog.  So I posted it on Facebook - how else does anyone find things out these days?  And I have to say, I have the best family and friends.  I've had the most amazing response and I'm not even that interesting!  Thank you all for caring about us enough to read our story and get inside my crazy head.

I've been struggling with the set-up of the blog - what I'll talk about, how often I want to post, etc...I still haven't come to a definite conclusion, but I had something to say today so I figured why not?  I thought I would start at the beginning, that's usually a good place.  We've now been trying to have a baby for 7 years.  Our motto was let's give it one more month.  Well one more month turned into one more year, and so on.  It's a very hard pill to swallow to realize you can't get pregnant on your own.  It's such a pride issue - which I never thought I struggled with but God is teaching me that He's in control.  Once Andy and I accepted that we needed help, we had no intentions of infertility treatments.  I watched one of my best friends go through two rounds of IVF with no baby and I said no way - I'm not putting myself or our relationship through that.  We had decided on adoption.  But my heart wasn't totally in it.  Everyone longs for their own baby.  So an old friend found me on Facebook (see reference above) and we went to dinner.  Her and her husband were struggling with infertility as well.  It just so happened that she worked for an infertility doctor.  She talked me in to coming in for an informational visit.  Of course Andy got called into work that day so I was flying solo.  The first step, for those of you who aren't immersed in the infertility world, is a sperm analysis.  It's the cheapest and easiest first step for everyone involved and since it didn't involve me, I was like let's go for it!  Andy was super thrilled, especially since my friend worked there and he had to see her when he checked out.  She did tell me that if it made him feel any better, her husband had been in several times and he had to go to the Christmas party with these people - Andy didn't feel so bad after that.

The next step was for him to go to a eurologist to make sure everything was OK with him physically.  I didn't go to this appointment, and after hearing the story when he got home I'm really sorry I missed it.  He went in and the physician's assistant came in with a young female resident.  As you can imagine considering the title of eurologist, Andy had to drop his drawers.  Later when the regular doctor came in, he had the same resident with him and asked Andy's permission for her to be in there to which he replied, "I don't think we have any secrets between us anymore".  Poor guy - he's been a trooper through the whole situation.  After that, we dove in with both feet.  The next steps are a little more involved so I'll save those for another day.

This journey can be a lonely one - it's hard for people who haven't been through it to grasp just what you're going through.  And there are days when we feel like we're the only couple in the world without babies.  But there are so many people struggling with infertility.  My prayer through this journey is that we enjoy the ride and the lessons we're learning - which isn't easy and I have to remind myself everyday of just how much God has blessed us.  It's so easy to get focused on what's to come and forget that we're on this path because God wants us here and He's teaching us something.  Our character and faith are built through our struggles and pain, not when everything is smooth sailing.  That's why the book of James says consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance - James 1:2. 

My second prayer is that we touch someone through our story.  That we can help them through the struggle.  Nothing is more meaningful and relatable then someone who's already been through it and is on the other side.  Afterall, that's why God sent His son, so that we could relate knowing Jesus walked this earth, bled like us, wept like us, got hungry and hurt like us and did it all without sinning.  He can empathize with every emotion we've ever experienced or will ever experience.  And in that we have hope, because Jesus is on the other side.  We have hope for this life because the Bible tells us to delight in the Lord and He will give us the desires of our heart, and when we're done here we get to spend an eternity with Him in Heaven!  I prayed God would use me today while I was writing, so this is straight from Him.  You're welcome :). 

Until the next time...